


take me back to the night we met

by reduxreactor



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Poetry, and ... a lot of longing for what's been lost or for what could've been, endgame spoilers in ch. 17, mostly angst because that's what poetry is, probably a lot of pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reduxreactor/pseuds/reduxreactor
Summary: poetry and just bits and pieces of scribbles written for the beloved steve rogers x tony stark.





	1. 001.

he is my everything and nothing,

my breath of fresh air and pair of burning lungs;

he is also my something somewhere,

lost in imperfect clouds and floating in murky waters;

and he is both too much and too little;

raw scars scrubbed clean and jagged pieces of two hearts.

— _take me back to simpler times  // c.w_


	2. 002.

perhaps we were never meant to be 

with the way our voices would rise;

and then there was finally the day where 

our fists clashed with teeth and stubborn jaws;

and yet with my bruised knuckles,

split lip, and bloodied shirt,

i would still do anything for you.

— _ i don’t know how to let you go  // c.w _


	3. 003.

both heaven and hell

was the time i spent

in your arms and the time

i spent miles away from home (you).

— _ where do i go when you’re gone?  // c.w _


	4. 004.

he asks, “what can i do?”

“please hold on,” i respond.

— _ don’t let me go  // c.w _


	5. 005.

if i were to fade into the night sky,

would you look to the stars to find me?

if i were to sink into dark and violent waters,

would you dive deep beneath the waves for me?

and if i were to freefall from thirty-thousand feet in the air,

would you catch me with confidence?

— _ i’m afraid to admit that i do need saving  // c.w _


	6. 006.

i looked at you and learned

how i could love, and how i

could be loved, but i never

learned how to love a ghost;

how do you tell someone you

love them when you've lost them?

when they're … gone?

— _ i'm sorry i failed you  // c.w _


	7. 007.

you were the air i began to breathe,

the only thing that would fill my lungs,

but that meant when you left,

i began to suffocate, gasp, and long

for what used to be.

— _ you were my lifeline  // c.w _


	8. 008.

when the inky shadows come for me,

will you fend them off for me, my dear?

and when the alcohol burns through my skin,

will you dare touch to soothe with calloused fingers, my darling?

but, oh, when the world asks for more than before,

will you deny it again like all the times prior, my love?

— _ will you keep those whispered promises?  // c.w _


	9. 009.

oh dear,

i was not expecting this.

i was not expecting you.

i was not expecting to fall.

— _ i found you without searching  // c.w _


	10. 010.

my heart is built of shards and bullet holes,

yet you say you will keep it safe for me.

i don't quite know what love is just yet,

but if it is what i think it is, then perhaps

i am the most lovesick fool in this room.

— _ i trust you more than i maybe should  // c.w _


	11. 011.

from my mother's womb,

i never thought i would be destined for great things;

not after him— not after his brutal words

and looming presence, not after the

reek of alcohol and cigarette smoke;

no, i never believed i would be better than him,

but my mother gave birth to a fighter, it seems,

and i will fight through a dozen armies alone if

it means i can be at your side again.

— _even if i fall, i will fight on my knees_   _//  c.w_


	12. 012.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just gifting a friend with sad poetry.

we dance like eagles beneath the moonlight,

alive and searching for something to feast on;

we crawl our way out of caves grasping for our old lives,

for some semblance of the world we once knew,

before we found out about the lies we swallowed,

before the world decided that we would be the ones,

the ones to sacrifice everything for better or for worse.

— _if i'm to die, i will die next to you_ _//  c.w_


	13. 013.

_i love him, i love him, i love him._

my heart beats to the rhythm of those three words,

yet every pause and stutter in between is:

~~_please, please love me, too._ ~~

— _i don't know what i'd do without you_   _//  c.w_


	14. 014.

it is utterly terrifying, the things i would do for you.

the people i would betray, the enemies i would make.

should war take me away where battles will chew me up

and spit me back out, the man will return,

scarred, tasting like dirt and bloodshed,

a little more hardened, a little more torn,

but still, hopefully, the man you fell in love with.

— _ let me fight all the monsters in your head  // c.w _


	15. 015.

you are the only thing that makes sense

in this world full of distractions;

i don’t know how, i don’t know why,

but i do know that

it feels right.

— _ you’re my right in a world of wrong  // c.w _


	16. 016.

_breathe_ , my darling,

look at me,

focus on my voice,

you are okay,

you are okay,

you are enough.

— _you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, not even me  //  c.w_


	17. 017.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ENDGAME SPOILERS,**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **ENDGAME SPOILERS,**
> 
>  
> 
> **ENDGAME SPOILERS.**
> 
>  
> 
> **_YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!_**

it ends like this:

   he saves the universe and all

   falls silent. galaxies mourn for a

   man who knew only to protect,

   to defend, to love, until his very

   last breath. until there would be

   no more need for bloodshed

   and sacrifice.

 

and you do not know

if it is a tragedy or a relief

that he had to fall to rest,

and you are sorry that you could not

help him find that peace in the

madness and both of your failures.

 

the grief starts like this:

   you do not know who you are

   as you stand, alive, when he has gone

   where you cannot follow. every little minuscule thing

   is a loud and sickening reminder of his absence, for he

   once took up an entire room with boisterous,

   warm laughter and incessant rambling,

   with mixed odors of grease and motor oil and

   his expensive taste in deodorant.

 

at the end of the day,

his light flickers and fades before

you have the chance to apologize.

for all the times you fought,

for all the times you bickered,

for all the times you looked at him and

saw a future and a home and believed he

did not see the same in you,

you loved him. you loved him,

you love him, and you’ll never have

the chance to tell him.

 

perhaps the worst part of this

   story is that you do not know that he

   loved you, too.

_— where did all our time go?  // c.w_


	18. 018.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a gift for [@IONICIRELIA](https://tmblr.co/mmR2r7EejBs2VJ_tVlJXqhw)

 

> **PART 1.  
>  **you woke from a delicate slumber, gentle enough that your fingers and toes thawed under the gentle rays of sunlight that filtered in through sandy white curtains; you found yourself in a world too cold and unfamiliar, a tourist in a place that should’ve been called home; 
> 
> some souls you passed were kind and benevolent, but there were those that reminded you of the times your knuckles were bloody and lip was split, the moments where you knew nothing else but what was right; then, you wondered if the battles you had fought once, twice, a million times, had ever contributed to your desperate desire for changing the world; 
> 
> **PART 2.  
>  **then you met him: not that you had spectacularly optimistic expectations, but he was loud and flamboyant, his presence ever-encompassing in an otherwise quiet room where his voice echoed like the familiarity in your head that you had gradually given up on; you knew him some way, somehow, in a previous life, a world before, or maybe somewhere in between. he was different but the same, nonetheless, and your heart raced and your voice faltered— it wanted to beat to his name like a steady rhythm from the way it would’ve spilled from your lips; you didn’t know why, but you knew he was something; 
> 
> you learned that he lived loudly, but had a quiet soul (not short of the suffering); he was cold on the outside, the same type of cold you remember from when you had nothing, but warm on the inside; he was the someone who gave you a home. 
> 
> he handed you the keys to his heart and all you could do was cradle it cautiously in your trembling fingers that had been roughened by war; he showed you how the streets were made of gold and that there was nothing to be afraid of; he became the torch at your side when the lights flickered out and drowned you in darkness; but, if there was anything you knew in this world, it was loss; 
> 
> **PART 3.**  
>  it decayed too fast for you to salvage; you made your mistakes and you had to sleep in the bed that you created; you rested down in a coffin that reminded you of all that you gained and all that you lost and wondered if it was worth all the silent suffering to disrupt the balance you finally found in a world so intimidating; 
> 
> for all the beginnings you never deserved, you knew he deserved them more; every door that had opened in the time you were seeking for earnest forgiveness came to a halting stop after the brakes were slammed and thunder rolled; your rome collapsed once and you hoped to rebuild brick by brick if you had to, you just didn’t think that the universe would steal away this second chance; 
> 
> not one bad memory outweighed all the good; you knew he always looked to the future no matter how sickly he was or how poorly the situation turned to be; you knew you could only carry his legacy on and remember him; he was always too big and too good for this world, this universe; 
> 
> _maybe,_  you thought,  _i’ll see you soon somewhere in between._

_— it always ends in thirds_   ( [c.w](https://reduxreactor.tumblr.com/) ) 


	19. sun-kissed

 

> his sun-kissed skin is soft, almost fragile, if not for the fact i know not even bullets could pierce his skin. his hair lighter than gold, yet more valuable than any riches known to man.
> 
> i wish to wake him from slumber, to drown in eyes that remind me of the ocean shore before any violent storms, but i resist the urge. there is no greater victory than to watch him rest. 
> 
> the war, the war can wait.

_—it will wait, or it will face my wrath_   ( [c.w](https://reduxreactor.tumblr.com/) )   //  [poetry commissions.](https://reduxreactor.tumblr.com/post/185844795441/its-your-fellow-broke-uni-student-who-didnt-get)


End file.
